Showing posts with label funny quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny quotes. Show all posts

Saturday, 4 May 2013

A groom and his newly wed wife - Latest Funny Jokes - Funniest Jokes

Latest Funny Jokes - Funniest Jokes



A groom and his newly wed wife go to the Hilton hotel on their honeymoon. They check in at the front desk, and the receptionist gives the groom a key to the bridal suite. The whole evening, the people in the next room are phoning down to the main desk to complain about the moaning, which doesn't stop for one minute the entire night.

The next morning, at 6 a.m., the groom calls room service.

"Hi, could I get some breakfast brought up here?"

"Sure, what would you like?" asks room service.

The groom replies, "Well, I have to replace all the energy I lost last night, so you'd better get me six fried eggs, nine sausages, 12 slices of toast, and six liters of orange juice."

Room service replies, "Gee, that's quite an appetite you have there. Is that for your wife as well, or just for you?"

"No, that's just for me. Can you send up six pieces of lettuce for my wife as well?"

Room service asks, "Why six pieces of lettuce?"

The groom replies, "I want to see if she can eat like a rabbit too!"




Latest Funny Jokes - Funniest Jokes, Funny Funny Jokes, Best Funny Jokes
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Tuesday, 23 April 2013

Collection of Latest Funny Quotes - Funny Jokes - Short Funny Jokes - Funny Funny Jokes

Short Funny Jokes



Teachers: Where's your homework
Student: At home having more fun than me



Teacher: "Do you want to share that with the class?"
Me: "No that's why I whispered it."



Latest Funny Quotes


The store keeps calling me to come back and buy more furniture... but all i really wanted was a one night stand.



whats the difference between a boyscout and a jew? the boyscout comes back from camp



You might be a redneck if you let your 12 year old kid smoke at the dinner table....... In front of her kids.


I didn't give a f*ck until I drank Red Bull.
Now I don't give a flying f*ck.



I told my crush at school, "If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow." The next day she came in wearing black! When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong.
Moral of the story: she really loves me underneath it all.



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Wednesday, 3 April 2013

Sardar: menu dar lag reya a, mera hath pharr lawo - Sardar Funny Jokes


Funny Jokes to Tell - Funny Sardar Jokes


Sardar k0 electric chair pe saza-e-maut dete huwe

 jailer bola: btao tmhari akhri khwahish kia hai?

.

.

.

.

Sardar: menu dar lag reya a, mera hath pharr lawo:


ha ha ha Funny Jokes





Sardar Funny Jokes, Best of the best funny Jokes, Funny Jokes to Text
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Monday, 25 February 2013

Teacher: Jungle mein ho or wahan sheir aa jaye to - Most Funny Jokes 2013

Teacher : Ager tum 1 jungle mein ho or wahan sheir aa jaye to tum kya karo ge?

Boy: Main darakht per charhon ga

Teacher: Ager wo sheir darkhat per b aa jaye to?

Teacher: Main Pani mein kood jaun ga

Teacher: Ager wo Pani mein b aa jaye to? . . .

Teacher : Ustad G.. Sheir nal pen viyai hai jo odi side le rae o

ha haa haaa haaaaa


Best Funny Jokes, New Funny Jokes, Best Jokes, Clean Jokes, funniest Jokes Teacher Jokes,


Best Funny Jokes 2013

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Thursday, 21 February 2013

Tera Baap Anday Deta tha - Funny Pathan Jokes 2013


Funny Pathan Jokes 2013


Amazing Funny  Jokes - ha haa haa haa 


Pathan was Weeping:

Man: Kyon Ro rahe ho?

Pathan: Meri Murghi Mar gai.

Man: Mera Baap Mar Gaya Magar main to Nahi Roya.

Pathan: Oye Tera Baap Anday Deta tha  kya


Funniest jokes of the day, best funny jokes, new funny jokes, short funny jokes, pthan jokes







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Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me - Most Funny Jokes


Upon entering the confessional, a young women spilled the beans, admitting

Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me -- seven times."

The priest thought long and hard, then said,

Take seven lemons and squeeze them into a glass,

then drink it.

The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?

The priest said, "No, but it will wipe the smile off your face.

ha haa very nice Joke, funniest joks,


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Monday, 18 February 2013

I can make you release your seeds - funniest joke

Maple tree


Q: What did the hurricane say to the maple tree?
 

A: If I blow you really hard I can make you release your seeds!


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Saturday, 16 February 2013

I found a lipstick that helps you lose weight - Amazing Jokes 2013



husband said to his wife 



I found a lipstick that helps you lose weight

it’s called super glue.


ha haa haa


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Friday, 15 February 2013

A boss was telling an applicant the two main rules of the company - funny jokes


A boss was telling an applicant the two main rules of the company

He said, "Our 2nd main rule is cleanliness.

Did you wipe your feet on the mat before coming in?"

The applicant replied, "Yes sir! I did."

Then the boss said,

"Our 1st main rule is trustworthiness.




There was no mat!"


ha haaa haaa

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Lady Throw Out Her Mother In Law -funniest jokes 2013


Why Did Lady Throw Out Her Mother-In-Law?
Because

Baba Ramdev (Yoga walay) Said


"Apni Saans Ko Bahar Nikalo..!!"

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Your mother and I enjoyed - most funny joke 2013


One student fell into a cycle of classes,
studying, working and sleeping.

Didn’t realize how long he had neglected writing home until

he received the following note: “Dear Son, Your mother and I enjoyed your last letter.

Of course, we were much younger then, and more impressionable.


Love

Dad

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Thursday, 14 February 2013

I saw the whole thing - funny joke 2013


A lawyer saw an auto accident on street.

He rushed over and started handing out

business cards saying:

I saw the whole thing..

I will take either side.

lawyer jokes, funny funny jokes, best funny jokes, short jokes





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Wednesday, 13 February 2013

what is the most important source of finance - New Funny jokes 2013


Commerce professor asks the student:

what is the most important source of finance for starting business?

Student: "Father in law".


ha ha haa haa haaaaa


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Sunday, 10 February 2013

whom do u like more mama or papa - funny jokes 2013


Papa: whom do u like more mama or papa

kid: both
Papa: no tell me 1.

Kid: both

Papa: if i go america & ur mother go to paris. Where u go?

Kid: paris

Papa: this mean u like ur mother?

Kid: no.

Paris is beautiful then america

Papa: if i go paris & ur mother go america so where u go

Kid: america

Papa: why kid: bcuz i havent been there before . .

Papa: Ullu da Pattha..

ha haaa haa

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Saturday, 9 February 2013

soap industry - funny funny jokes 2013


Once in a soap industry in Japan,

the soap cover was mistakenly packed without soap in it i.e an empty cover.

To avoid the problem in future they purchased X-Ray machine of 60 thousand dollars

to check in the assembly line that

whether soap is packed in the cover or not in.

Same problem occurred in Pakistan.

What did they do??

They simply put a pedestal fan beside the assembly line.

Empty boxes were flown away

ha haa haaa ha

Genius Nation.

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Sir kitne Handsome hain - best funny jokes 2013


Girl: Mummy, Sir kitne Handsome hai na.


Mummy: Beti, apne se bado ko baap ki jaga  samajhna chahiye.


Girl: Mummy, tum bhi na!

Hamesha apne hi setting mein lagi rahti


ho


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I am Looking for a Bank -funny funny jokes 2013


Best funny jokes
I am Looking for a Bank

which can perform Two things for me.

Give me a Loan,

&

then Leave me Alone


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A duck walks into a bar - funny joks 2013


A duck walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a beer".

The bartender says "Hey! where did you come from?"

The duck says "I'm working the construction site across the street".

And the bartender says, "Well why are you working construction when you could be making millions in the circus?"

And the duck said "What would the circus want with a brick laying duck?"


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Man sitting with dog -funny funny Jokes 2013


Man1 sitting with dog.

Man2:Your dog bits?

Man1:No

Man 2 sits and the dog bits!

Man2 angrily, you said he does not bit!

Man:That is not my dog.


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Sardar Jokes 2013 - funny joke


A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house...

still he was in jail.......why?

coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !

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